There’s a very good reason they say “breaking up is hard to do.” It is.
When you exit a relationship that was once loving, comforting and giving, there is inevitably pain and ultimately grief when it ends. While time definitely softens the blow, it doesn’t heal all wounds on its own.
You might hate your ex. You might still love your ex. Either way, if it’s over, you need to take care of yourself first and foremost.
It's understandable if you feel a strong need to be alone, but when you do decide to be around others, be sure to surround yourself with people who truly care about you and are good listeners. Try to avoid those filled with nothing but advice and who are more interested in hearing themselves speak instead of offering a shoulder to lean on.
If there are activities that you always wanted to try but the ex was never interested or possibly loathed, now is the time to fulfill yourself. Or perhaps there are pastimes you wanted to return to but didn't have the chance to with your ex around. If you have the means and opportunity to travel, taking a trip after a breakup can be a healing experience if it takes you far enough out of your daily routine. Remember, you're number one and you get to decide.
Don’t get caught up thinking what you could have done or should have done. Regrets do nothing but keep you stuck in the past, and that’s the last place you want to be after a breakup. The past is the past and while we must learn from our mistakes, you need to live in the present. That very past is what got you where you are today and there’s simply no way to change it.
Immediately starting a new relationship is generally not recommended after a breakup. When you do feel ready to date someone, make sure your feelings for your ex are clearly defined and in the past before jumping into something new.
The initial blow may be crushing, but breakups are survivable. We just need to keep our wits about us and let our heads take over while our hearts heal.
