It's that time of year again. Stores are displaying party outfits, the air is filled with festive music, toy commercials are inescapable and your neighbors have already hung the holiday lights. You should be in a great mood but you can already feel the stress building because holidays with the family are approaching. Even if your family lacks the drama, tension or eccentric relatives that greet most of us during holiday visits, it's likely that you too feel a bit of stress before annual get-togethers. It's something we seem to share. Just why is it that many of us approach family meetings with anxiety, even though we'd like the holidays to be a joyous time? Read on for our guide to holidays with the family and how to handle it all without breaking a sweat.
What's keeping you from looking forward to your family visit? Let's see - where shall we begin? Many people would rather avoid that yearly check-in about career, relationships and overall status that seem inevitable. Others aren't looking forward to spending time with a family member who perpetually plays a Grinch or a Scrooge. And still others are dreading a forced return to the bottom of the family hierarchy, years after childhood. Let's be honest. It's hard to change relationship patterns, but sometimes there's the potential to improve a bad situation just by talking it out (remember to treat these moments delicately). If you're resolved not to rock the boat, then wear your best smile and know that you might be in for a bumpy ride. When tense, awkward or cringe-worthy moments arrive, do your best to diffuse the situation rather than let it turn sour. Your family will thank you.
If you feel the old cycle of family stress coming on, why not propose that your family celebrate the holidays in a completely new way this year? Old habits may die hard but a change of routine is one way to shake them up a bit. Try celebrating the holiday in a different location or plan a new activity. Perhaps taking a day out to volunteer at a local charity or community organization will take the focus off the family dynamic and create new roles within the group.
Even if you expect your holiday reunion to resemble The Nightmare Before Christmas more than It's a Wonderful Life, try to keep things in perspective. You have one family and in spite of their inevitable flaws you have the opportunity to make cherished memories this holiday. Remember to count your blessings before you complain, and know that the holidays won't last long. You might even keep your visit to a minimum and save a few days of holiday vacation for your own activities, as a reward for making it through another family reunion. And if all else fails, you'll have some funny moments to laugh about well into the New Year.
