Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a disease that kills happiness. I would be happy if my boss would just acknowledge the quality of my work. When we have enough money then I will be happy. Once I complete my degree then life will be good again. How can I be happy with so much housework to do? I'd be happy if he'd just change a diaper once in awhile. How can I ever be happy with the years of tyranny that was called my childhood? If you had all this wrong with your life, you'd be miserable too! This kind of thinking is called the golden self pity pot: the throne of Queen (and King) Perfectionism.

Nothing is ever going to be perfect or good enough if you don't want it to be. It took me years to realize that I was allowed happiness even if everything was not just right. I don't have to live up to anyone's standards, including my own. My old standards were ridiculous. No one can live up to them, yet I always seemed to be trying. The end result was a lot of beating up on myself for not being perfect. The byproduct was filling my life with people who also beat me up for not being perfect. Thankfully, I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I stopped blaming everyone else for my problems and took responsibility for my own happiness. The first step was to admit that I wasn't perfect and didn't really want to be. It's okay to be happy even if there is a pile of work on my desk. I am allowed to be happy even if my partner or child isn't okay. I am allowed to be okay even if someone is mad at me. I am allowed to smile when something painful has just happened. I have permission to make the decisions to ask negative people to leave and to allow positive people to stay. It's okay to be okay.

The first place that I learned about being happy was on my yoga mat in the corpse pose. That is where I conceived that the feeling of serenity could be maintained in my daily life. All I had to do was ask my universe how and to follow through on the answers it gave. Happiness is in found in action.