The holiday season is fast approaching and you're bracing yourself for the worst. It's not the prospect of a crazed schedule or even the anticipation of added expenses that have you dreading the weeks ahead. It's the thought of weathering the endless parties, dinners and family gatherings as a single person. You're not alone in your feelings. It's all too common to feel like the odd one out at a family event or to react defensively to a comment made about your solo status. But don't despair. This year, just a little prep may help you enjoy the holiday season, drama-free.
Even before you RSVP for this season's events, take a moment to re-evaluate what you've experienced during holidays past. Your observations will give you a clue as to what you should expect this year, and help you to decide whether or not you truly want to be a part of these gatherings. If it's tradition that you love, or the opportunity to reconnect with particular relatives and friends, it's important to reaffirm these reasons. If you're stuck in a cycle and haven't enjoyed certain events in years past, consider making alternate plans this year. You might keep in mind that the holidays can be a wonderful time to connect with other singles. Consider hosting a potluck dinner or holiday cocktail party for single friends and encourage them to bring along others.
If you're set on arriving solo to a gathering and you're anticipating feelings of loneliness or judgment, it's important to confront the possibilities beforehand. Make a list of personal accomplishments from the past year and keep those in mind as you prepare to enter a setting that could make you feel inadequate for being single. If you don't want to call attention to your single status, prepare a few polite responses that you can deliver if and when you are questioned about it. Keeping the spotlight off of the topic, or addressing it quickly and moving on, can often resolve your concerns altogether. If it seems that you're in for more intense judgment, plan to brush off the comments without consequence or stinging retorts, which could lead to hurt feelings all around. Above all, don't feel pressure to talk about your personal life or to allow others to be involved in your own matters. Your status need not concern them.
As an incentive to get through the holidays drama-free, settle on a reward that you'll earn at the end of the season. Keep that reward in mind during stressful or lonely situations and it just might get you through weak moments. Perhaps you want a massage or a weekend away to relax and rejuvenate. Regardless of the choice, use the reward to celebrate your particular interests, talents and goals. After handling the holidays so gracefully, you'll deserve it!
